Things I Am Freaking Out About: Three Weeks to Go

1. The reception site is much smaller than I'd anticipated. Fire safety rated for 79 people on each of the two floors. Which, with our estimated guest count of 150, is a problem. I'm currently praying for nice weather so we can use the deck outside for additional seating and room without being all squished in together. And trying not to think about it at all is also currently a method of choice for dealing with the panic.

2. Still haven't taken my dress in for alterations, though pretty much all it needs is a bustle.

3. After last meeting with minister, decided to construct our own ceremony since I didn't really like the available options. Mostly complete, but now needs approval before I can start trying to create programs.

4. Trying to write my own half of our vows. Andrew whipped his out in about fifteen minutes, but I'm struggling to find the right words in a small amount of time to use. Also want to print in program so relatives with hearing problems don't feel left out, so kinda running out of time.

5. 21 days to go=no time to order things for the wedding unless it's a rush order. Pretty much. May still attempt ring bowl and cute, but non-personalized, napkins.

6. Sat down with Andrew and ordered gifts for groomsmen yesterday. Still working on parents and bridesmaid gifts, since cheesy useless somethings seem so...ick...as options. After a frustrated evening starting thinking photo frames would be sufficient...note to self: try to stay away from photo frame gifts.

7. Since reception site is smaller than anticipated, now also looking for chair and table rental company. Hopefully people RSVP or else they may not have actual seats at the reception.

8. I have decided, with three weeks to go, that I would like someone else to plan my wedding so I can just show up and have a good time. Admittedly, this is far too late for such a decision and leads only to more misery as I further procrastinate the things I need to get done.

9. Must give Andrew nearly daily reminders to call people (ie. groomsmen, church people, etc.) to make sure that we will actually have music for the wedding as well as men in tuxes at the front. Doesn't really think about what still needs to be done, but is willing to do any tasks I assign to him...it just takes time to make lists of what I need him to do that I don't necessarily have.

10. Figuring out insurance is a pain in the neck.

Catering Woes

I need to just sit down and choose a catering company, hammer out contract details, get an estimate, and make a deposit.

The company I had been looking at just raised their rates from what I had previously found, and it's my own fault that I didn't schedule a phone meeting or just go ahead and book them to reserve the date before they changed to lock in the rates.

It's not like I'm looking at complicated food. Just appetizers. After all, the reception is starting at 8 PM. I just don't think that the price for an appetizer buffet should be the same as a simple buffet meal. It just seems ridiculous to equate the two.

Mostly I'm looking for a menu I can live with. The dessert buffet idea got canned because it seemed that serving massive quantities of sugar and alcohol seemed like a recipe for disaster, even though it's the closest to what I would want.

Which is essentially a massive sugar fest. Or carnival/fair food, like mini burgers, boneless barbecue chicken wings, funnel cakes, and cotton candy. To me, that sounds perfect and fun...but probably not what is actually going to happen.

Well, I just emailed the bakery/caterer who I'd looked at originally last spring and summer. Right now her prices and options seem the most reasonable, and it's really close to the reception site so the food wouldn't have to be driven through the majority of Kansas City before it reaches the guests, which is always a good option to try. We'll see how this goes.

Ceremony Site Freak Out

So last night I had a major freak out about our ceremony site, after actually taking the time to sit down and read the pricing requirements instead of freaking out about how much control a religious ceremony at a religious site takes control away from me.

I'm already a little lost at sea in the wedding planning, partially because we're having it on my fiance's home turf rather than in my own small town. Because my home town has one hotel, three stoplights, and way too many banks.

And we needed an airport, and hopefully more hotels and other options.

So now I have way too many options, and have no idea without Google Maps how far apart everything is in Kansas City.

But Andrew wanted to get married in the church he was raised in and that his parents were married in. With a ceremony in the denomination he wants to be a minister for and with a minister he admires...but who is always insanely busy and hard to get ahold of.

A couple weeks ago we finally got a pamphlet about the policies and procedures for having a wedding in said church. And not-really-religious but raised Catholic me thinks, "I stopped going to mass because everything was entirely too formalized. This makes me itch."

I admit it. I'm a control freak.

But last night when I picked up the pamphlet again I'd been reassured by Andrew that the minister wouldn't really oppose most of my customizing options, and so I looked at the cost. And freaked out.

We're looking at almost a grand for the ceremony, where'd I'd been expecting more of a token cost since that's they way things are in my small town.

Right after I ordered the invitations, of course, so there's no going back now (more on the invitations later). I'm still annoyed, but am coping by deciding that Andrew can handle most of the ceremony details. He shall be my emissary to the religious world.

Cake Me, Baby!

Just kidding. He shoves cake in my face and he will spend our wedding night on a couch somewhere. I think he has the same stance on the issue of cake/face smashing, though, so we should be okay.

Speaking of cake, Andrew and his mom met today with the cake lady I found online over Christmas Break. She's just set up her website and was in the process of adding a gallery when I contacted her. Honestly, I've never had someone respond as promptly and happily as I do to an email before, but she did. Wonderful.

And she answered all my questions without dithering, and added in more relevant information regarding her history and practices. I wish I could go to the tasting with Andrew and his mom, but I'm going to have a hard enough time making the drive to Missouri as much as I am this semester, and I really wanted to have a tasting and book her as soon as possible.

Cake is one of my wedding extravagances. I could really care less what the rest of the food is (but will probably be appetizer-based since it's a wedding reception later in the evening), but the cake was important. My friends Julie and Matt had absolutely divine, mystical wedding cake for their reception this past July, so I just told Andrew before he went to see if the cake this person made was equal to that.

He has just reported back that it was. I am thrilled, and thrilled that he called me about ten times while actually at the tasting to discuss ideas and plan out a summary that she'll send to me as a basis for a contract/cost estimate.

Here is my inspiration for the wedding cake:

The blue will be matched to a blue sample provided by me to match the sash of my dress and the bridesmaids' dresses, and the words will be my favorite E. E. Cummings poem, or at least the last two stanzas (first line: "i carry your heart with me(i carry it in"). White wedding cake with vanilla buttercream icing and filling...sounds heavenly.

Andrew's Groom's Cake is going to be a stack of books (The Bible, Thus Spake Zarathustra, and one other philosophy text I can't remember at the moment). Chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream icing and filling. Maybe a little tried-and-true, but it suits him. He's already more traditional than I am anyway.

Just another example of how you can blend modernism and traditionalism if you really want to.

Everything's Coming Up Roses

To me, this picture represents the perfect wedding bouquet. Orange and pink roses, combining to play off of the lovely blue and white background of my wedding dress. And looking surprisingly good together, at least compared to what I originally thought when considering a floral color scheme.

This is the bouquet I'm asking my florist to create for me, and she's said she can and will. No fillers, no unnecessary greenery, just roses. Though to cut costs a bit the bridesmaids' bouquets will contain orange astrolomeria.

The church is pretty enough to not need extra floral ornamentation, so there will be no altar arrangements, and the reception ones will primarily feature rose petals and floating candles.

I do hope my florist understands that I was serious about following family tradition with at least a few simple, loose-rose arrangements in the hereditary beer bottles.

Yeppers, I just referred to beer bottles as wedding decorations. In fact, they are an established tradition on my dad's side, spray-painted and used in every wedding at least since my own parents' over 26 years ago. For mine, I have asked that they go from black to white, and intend to tie blue ribbon around the necks. Orange roses against the black would just be a little too dark, too Halloween-ish, and definitely too strong a reminder of my high school days (orange and black were my high school colors...even though we were the Dutchmen and not even I could invent a reason that color combination went particularly well with our mascot).

we'll go over more details later, but now at least I have a florist for my wedding day who charges what my mom considers reasonable prices. (I haven't purchased flowers nearly as much, so I still get sticker-shock.) At least now I have set ideas and a color scheme, leaving minor details to be sorted out as we get closer to the day.

Hired Lens

After a lot of internet research, I've decided to go with Phoenix Photography to cover the wedding. I love the fact that I get access to the digital images and everyone can view our photos online and place orders themselves if they so desire. When I talked to John Phoenix on the telephone he was just so well-prepared for any of the questions I came up with and ready to volunteer more ideas and information than I had thought of.

Currently my plan is to take as many pictures as possible before the ceremony, and he suggested doing a "first meeting" location during the day after we get ready and then taking pictures there with the bridal party. Union Station flashed into my mind, just because it's a place I love to visit whenever I'm in Kansas City, one where Andrew and I have gone many times to hang out when we weren't exactly flush with cash. It's nice to think of incorporating an element of our dating relationship into the photography for our wedding.

I'll be talking with them more in the upcoming months, but it's nice to have one of the most important (to me) vendors settled already.

New Year, New Plan

To start out the new year right, and hopefully keep people a bit more in the loop than I've had luck doing previously, I'm starting a wedding blog. (Clue #1: This is aforementioned blog.)

For friends, family, kindhearted strangers, etc. to peruse my wedding plans as I try to wind down the next five and a half months without becoming a bridezilla or otherwise mentally snapping. Though it's not easy to plan a wedding in Kansas City while you're living in Lexington, KY and going to grad school full time and working a full assistantship. Add to the fun that you're not actually from Kansas City (your fiance is) and he's still going to school full-time in Missouri to finish his undergraduate degree.

But there are good things. Like being engaged to the right guy. And having temporary custody of our psuedo-child, Archimedes (Archie) the shih tzu. I love my job and mostly my classes, so it's a pretty good life right now.

To start off the blogging fun, I figured I could catch up to where I am in planning and post pictures of what I have so far. Let's get started, shall we?